Jan 20 2008


Published by at 11:59 pm under Preemies


BUY Cloxazolam ONLINE WITHOUT PRESCRIPTION, For those of you who are not visiting Holland, this post may not make too much sense until you have read the following...

A Trip to Holland

By Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel.

  It’s like this…

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy.  You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans…the Coliseum, the Sistine Chapel, Gondolas.  You may learn some handy phrases in Italian.  It’s all very exciting.  After several months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives.  You pack your bags and off you go.

Several hours later, the plane lands.  The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland!”  “Holland?”  you say.  “What do you mean, Holland?  I signed up for Italy.  I’m supposed to be in Italy.  All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”  But there’s been a change in the flight plan.  They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine, and disease.   It’s just a different place.

So, you must go out and buy new guidebooks.  And you must learn a whole new language.  And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.  It’s just a different place.  It’s slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy.

But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.  You begin to notice that Holland has windmills.  Holland has tulips.  And Holland even has Rembrandts.  But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there.  And for the rest of your life you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go.  That’s what I had planned.”  And the pain of that experience will never, ever, ever, go away.  The loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.


For the last week or so and on and off before that I have been having a tough time emotionally. I want my girls to be Italian not Dutch, buy Cloxazolam ONLINE WITHOUT prescription. Buy cheap Cloxazolam no rx, I want them to go through life seeing, feeling and experiencing the same things as their friends and classmates, order Cloxazolam from mexican pharmacy. Cloxazolam samples, I don't want them smelling tulips while the rest visit the Sistine Chapel, BUT I am glad that they can smell the tulips, japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal. Purchase Cloxazolam,

I love my girls and what they have brought to my life. Yes my life would be very different had they been born closer to term, BUY Cloxazolam ONLINE WITHOUT PRESCRIPTION. Yes, where to buy Cloxazolam, Buy Cloxazolam without a prescription, they would be walking and talking and eating solid foods. I would be back at school finishing my nursing degree, where can i buy Cloxazolam online. Buy generic Cloxazolam, We wouldn't have to schedule our lives around Doctors appointments and weekly therapy. My heart wouldn't stop and jump into my chest at the smallest sign of getting sick, buying Cloxazolam online over the counter. BUY Cloxazolam ONLINE WITHOUT PRESCRIPTION, We wouldn't have to be scared to leave the girls at home, even for a few hours. Cloxazolam gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release, We would be able to get a sitter and go on a date. We could go to Mommy's group and play dates and Mom and Tot movies.., buy Cloxazolam from mexico. Fast shipping Cloxazolam, Yes life would be much different, we would take life for granted like we all used to, Cloxazolam over the counter. Real brand Cloxazolam online, We would not be utterly excited about the smallest grins and the tiny giggles. We would not rejoice at the smallest accomplishments or dance in front of the hall mirror at least once a day, BUY Cloxazolam ONLINE WITHOUT PRESCRIPTION. We would not have witnessed a real miracle here on earth, where can i order Cloxazolam without prescription, Cloxazolam price, coupon, two in fact. I know that I have been blessed by being sent to Holland instead of Italy, buy Cloxazolam online cod, Australia, uk, us, usa, it's just that lately the pain of not going to Italy, and knowing that I will never get to go there, Cloxazolam for sale, Kjøpe Cloxazolam på nett, köpa Cloxazolam online, that my girls will never get to go there, is really getting to me, rx free Cloxazolam. Order Cloxazolam online overnight delivery no prescription, Being with and talking to friends that have been to Italy and will probably never go to Holland is becoming harder and harder as their children continue to reach milestones while my girls do not.

I really don't know why I am in this funk lately, Cloxazolam from canadian pharmacy. BUY Cloxazolam ONLINE WITHOUT PRESCRIPTION, Everything makes me cry. Buy Cloxazolam without prescription, I made it through 5 weeks of hell in September and held it together for the most part. We have been back in hospital twice since then and I have stayed in one piece, buy no prescription Cloxazolam online. Online buying Cloxazolam hcl, So now when all is good (knock on wood) and Lena is improving daily and Kassie is making leaps and bounds and won't stop babbling, why do I cry so easily, order Cloxazolam from mexican pharmacy. Cloxazolam price, coupon, Maybe the last year is catching up to me OR maybe its that I am able to think of the future now that the present is not so stressful. I really don't know, Cloxazolam samples. Purchase Cloxazolam online, Maybe it's a combination. All I know is that it better stop soon, real brand Cloxazolam online, Online buy Cloxazolam without a prescription, I'm getting tired of runny mascara.

Goofy Lena

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2 responses so far


  1. Angelaon 21 Jan 2008 at 8:01 pm

    There are great things about Holland but I do have lots of times when Italy seems so much less complicated and less heartwrenching. We all go through our times of funks and who knows why they happen at certain times. You are right that friendships and relationships do change, those who have had not has a glimpse of the voyage do not understand. That is when new relationships are formed and are even stronger.
    I still love their dimples. Too cute.
    I once found a blog called “holland sucks!”, look for it.

  2. Auntie Meon 21 Jan 2008 at 11:57 pm

    You are far too much like me, so I had to say…

    First, you just might end up going to Italy with a brief stop in Holland on the way. It’s far too soon to say you’re not going to Italy. I’ve seen too many babies struggle for 2-5 years that end up going to Italy.

    *blows kisses to the wondertwins*

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